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Gulliver's Parabox Too

Author: Gulliver63
Email: gulliver63@yahoo.com
Website: Gulliver63.deviantART.com

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[Gulliver63's Fan Fics] [Fan Fics MAIN]


By Bob Fitzpatrick
Patterned after the "Farnsworth's Parabox" episode.

"Good news, everyone... " the Professor chortled, "and bad news as well. Sort of good news and bad news all rolled into one. Well, anyway, the bad news is that my rare Arcturian sapphire diamond was stolen from my universe traveler. The good news is that I know who stole it, and where they went. The bad news is that it is in the Lilliput Universe, and I'm going to need two intrepid travelers to retrieve it. The good news is that I have one more charge on the traveler machine to get them there. The bad news is that they will need either the box or my counterpart's traveler machine to get back home, or be stuck forever in a strange universe."

The Planet Express crews' eyes went back and forth with each good news, bad news scenario, as if they were watching a tennis match. Bender quickly threw up his metal arm.

"Professor," he announced, "I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I've lost my sense of curiosity for universe travel. It took me nearly a week to erase 'Swan Lake' from my memory banks and to recover from my alcohol deficiency."

"Don't worry, Bender, you're not who I had in mind for this mission, anyway."

"Professor," Zoidberg interjected, "will there be lots of exotic food on this voyage?"

"No, Zoidberg, you're not going either. I've chosen Leela and Amy for this particular mission, dangerous though it is... "

"Dibs on Amy's music collection... " Bender shot in quickly, before Zoidberg could. Zoidy let out a sad sigh.

Farnsworth turned on the traveler machine with it's laser tube aimed at a blank wall. Soon a beam of light hit the wall, and that dreaded ripping sound could be heard as a hole was torn in the very fabric of space. Goopy protoplasm began dripping to the floor as the hole got bigger. The PE crew peered into the hole, and the familiar construction zone could be seen across the street. Everything looked pretty much the same as it did in our familiar Universe A.

"Well, you two, start your mission." Professor Farnsworth motioned toward the hole.

Leela and Amy walked in through the hole, and found themselves standing in the construction zone. Leela was at least glad that she didn't have to leap into it like the last time, and tumble on to concrete when she hit the pavement. It didn't take long to see the real difference in their new universe - they stood well over 60 feet tall here, and the entire town of New New York was spread out in front of them like a large play set in a toy store. Amazed construction workers quickly ran away from the site, yelling as they went. The girls looked across the street to their familiar Planet Express building, identical in every way except for the weird orange color in the bricks. It looked like a child's dollhouse to them. They heard a strange noise behind them, and watched as the hole in space quickly closed up.

Across the street, the PE building was covered in shadow from Leela and Amy. Zoidberg scratched his head as everything went dark in his office. He didn't even look over to see Leela's gigantic single eye peering in through his window.

"Those rainshowers weren't supposed to arrive until evening," said Zoidberg.

"The city is so beautiful this time of year," said Amy, with a dreamy look on her face.

"Well, at this height, I'm sure they're not going to hand us the key to the city. Let's get going - and be careful where you step."

Amy and Leela started off in separate directions.

"Amy, where are you going?"

"To MomCorp, like the Professor said." Amy looked puzzled.

"MomCorp is that way... towards the Gene Rodenberry Overpass."

"No," Amy said, pointing in the opposite direction, "the Gene Roddenberry Overpass is that way. The George Lucas bridge is the other way."

"No, this building over here is the Mick Jagger Gimme Shelter Homeless Pavilion. MomCorp is definitely this way. Just follow me, please."

Amy shrugged her shoulders and followed Leela out of the construction site. She suddenly stopped and grimaced as a crunching sound could be heard under her boot.

"Leela," she said in a frightened voice, "I think I just stepped on someone."

"Amy! You've got to be careful!" Leela motioned with her hand. "Lift up your boot."

Amy lifted the boot, only to find the crushed remains of a robot. She let out a sigh of relief. Leela picked it up to see it - the thing looked like a broken toy with little pieces of metal falling off. She tossed it back into the construction site.

"See? Now lets get going, Amy... and be careful!"

Philip Fry nudged his wife Amy in the shoulder. "Wake up... are you going to sleep all day?"

"Leave me alone... did you feed the kids?"

"Done it... they're already fed."

The two sat on the edge of the bed and watched the familiar faces of Morbo and Linda on television. They were used to Linda's frequent outbursts and paranoia about aliens, and wondered how Morbo could have stood it for so long.

'This story about giants being seen in our city has got to be some sort of twisted alien plot... " Linda railed, as she looked deep into the camera, "death to the alien invaders!"

Morbo didn't know what to do, except laugh as if nothing was said. The camera turned to him as he stroked the fur of a cat.

"Morbo has a wonderful cat here for adoption named Fluffy... she's very good with kids."

"Cats give me gas," Linda spat with a scowl on her face.

"Giants?" Phil and Amy said simultaneously as they looked at each other.

"You've got us lost, Leela... "

"I do not," Leela said, annoyed. "Momcorp is just a few more blocks this way."

"I know where I am - I used to eat at this café right here," Amy said, pointing down to a storefront. A woman let out a shout and ran out of the way of the giant hand.

It had been a tricky walk... the girls had to goose-step around cars and trucks while panicked pedestrians scrambled to get out of their way.

"Hey... I know a short-cut," said Amy.

Leela wasn't paying attention... she turned around to find that Amy had already disappeared behind a group of large buildings.

"Amy... Amy!" She looked in every direction, but didn't see her.

Amy was already to the edge of Louis Wu Park when she spied her favorite shoe store. She smiled when she crouched down for a look, noticing that they were having a sale. She suddenly heard something go whizzing past her ear... was it some sort of weird insect? She heard it again. She stood up and looked around. A sharp pain jabbed her in her hip, and she pulled out a tiny dart. She looked across the park to see Walt, Mom's son, bolting across the grass. She tried to flee, but she began to get very woozy. She only made it a few steps when she blacked out and fell like a large sequoia into the park.

Soon the military was on the scene at Louis Wu Park. Military meant that Commander Kiff Kroker was there, with his underling Zapp Brannigan. Kiff had his dress uniform on, bristling with medals. The two marched up to the huge body of Amy, and stood next to her enormous hand. A photographer came up to shoot a picture of Kiff with the giant.

"Zapp," Kiff snidely remarked, "will you please stand over there... they're here to get a picture of me, not you."

Zapp sighed and stepped aside.

"And quit sighing for God's sake."

Zapp ran his hand through his jet black hair. "Do we have a plan, sir?"

"Of course we have a plan... we blow her up."

"Blow her up?!"

"Yes... I've seen videos of it done with beached whales. We just attach some TNT up near the navel there and... BOOM!"

"Oh, for the love of God, you couldn't be serious... "

"Absolutely... it's the only way to get her out of here."

"But look at her... she's Amy Wong! I know the hair's different, but it's her... "

Soon they were joined by Walt, who was still carrying his huge tranquilizer gun. He produced some very official-looking paperwork which was signed by Dick Nixon. Kiff and Zapp quickly read through it.

"I'll be taking the giantess to Momcorp for testing, gentlemen... "

"You can't just come by and take her," Zapp replied.

"Oh yeah?" Walt shot back. "30,000 Tricky Dick Funbucks say that I can." He pulled out a receipt signed by Mom to Nixon and waved it in Zapp's face.

"Well, Zapp," Kiff interjected, "the man drives a hard bargain. Let's step aside so he can do his work. Besides, it'll be a lot less messy than blowing her to tiny bits with dynamite."

The men stepped back as a large helicopter came by and began to drop huge cables. As Amy's gigantic mass was lifted up into the air, Leela watched in amazement and disbelief. For now, all she could do was to follow the helicopter to the headquarters.

Phil and Amy arranged a sitter for the children; Bender wasn't their first choice, but he'd never harmed the kids before. Amy did ask him not to belch flames in the apartment, and not to bring any robot porn by. They met up with Leela to discuss what was going on... their large size friends were here, and in some kind of trouble. The giants had helped them before, and it was their turn to return the favor. And they knew that the trouble all led back to Mom.

When Amy came to, she found herself in little more than a large cage with one-way windows. She tried to stand up, but bumped her head.

"Can the 'animal' see us?" asked Mom, as she sucked on her cigarette.

"No, she can't," replied Ogden Wernstrom.

"What do you plan to do with her, anyway?"

"I've got lots of tests I'd like to run on her," he mused. "She's quite a curiosity."

"Just as long as she doesn't get my damn diamond," Mom chuckled, as she patted the huge stone with her hand. "I know her stinking one-eye girlfriend is here too... Farnsworth probably sent them here after the stone. Stealing it was one of the only things my sons were ever able to do right in their lives."

"That one stone can generate enormous amounts of power... just think of what I can do with it. We can become wealthy beyond our dreams!" Wernstrom gazed into the stone as he lovingly ran the palm of his hand across it.

"But mommy... " Igner protested, "the big lady is so pretty... you're not going to hurt her, are you?"

"Shut up, idiot -" Larry said, "you're just going to get hit!"

Mom leaned over and slapped Larry.

"Aw, hell Mom, what was that for?"

"For being his brother. Now shut up, both of you!"

As Leela, Amy and Phillip Fry raced through the city, it wasn't hard to find the bigger version of Leela. The constant whine of police sirens and the hovering helicopters gave away her every move. On top of that, Linda and Morbo covered Leela's every step. As they sped along in the coupe that Amy's parents bought her, they finally caught sight of Leela's gigantic frame crouched behind a building. She swatted at police helicopters as if they were large, carnivorous insects. Amy bolted out of the coupe and waved her hands up at the giant. Leela prepared to swing at Amy with her huge hand, and then realized who it was.

"Leela... " Amy shouted, "what are you doing here?"

"I've got to get to Momcorp... they've got Amy."

"Pick us up... we know how the building's laid out - Phil used to make deliveries there."

With this Leela put her hand to the ground and the three climbed in.

"I'll explain on the way," said big Leela, as she lifted Phil, Leela and Amy into the sky.

Amy had been crying, as she tried in vain to break her way out of the cramped room. It was built well, and withstood the pounding of her fists.

"Ogden honey, you'd better hurry up with your tests... Queen Kong is on her way here." Mom lit up another cigarette and took a drag as she watched the live footage on a television screen - Linda still ranted, and Morbo went on about a new low fat diet. "Walt, go up on the roof and see if you can bring that elephant down too... maybe I can make some money by selling them to a zoo somewhere. And take Larry with you... he hasn't done a thing all day."

Out on the roof, Walt zeroed in on his large subject. He loaded an enormous tranquilizer dart into his rifle and took aim. An angry Leela had already spotted him, and was headed toward him carrying a large radio antenna that she'd snatched off of a building. Walt readied his shot as Leela prepared to strike... there was no way he could miss at this range. She stopped her attack as she watched Igner come up behind Walt and hit him with a baseball bat.

"Ouch, you idiot!! " Walt covered his head with his arms. "What are you doing?"

"I'm not going to let you hurt the pretty lady." He smacked him again.

Leela reached down her hand and took the rifle, pitching it across the street. Igner was probably going to get his butt whooped, but it created enough of a distraction for Leela and her friends to get into the building. Phillip Fry pointed to where the lab was, and Leela brought down a gigantic fist into the roof. It only took a couple of good poundings to punch a hole in the ceiling.

"Holy crap," Mom shouted out as the bricks and building materials rained in. "Where the hell are my worthless sons?" Walt and Igner tumbled in through the hole in the ceiling to the floor, still beating the tar out of each other. "Oh, hell... I should have figured." A huge, angry eye peered in through the hole.

By this time, Amy has figured a way to begin kicking at the wall of her cell... the entire lab shuddered with each of her kicks.

"Wernstrom," Mom yelled out, "that monster is going to get out of it's cage!"

"Nonsense! It's constructed out of my patented diamondillium plates... there's no way she can escape."

Before he could finish his sentence, Amy's huge boot came crashing into the lab.

"You were saying?" said Mom snidely.

The chaos going on in the lab was enough of a distraction for big Leela to sneak her friends in. They quickly overpowered Wernstrom at his machine, which he had already turned on in an effort to escape. He had popped the diamond out, but Fry knocked him down and it slid out of his hands. Little Amy quickly grabbed it like a rugby ball as Fry wrestled with Wernstrom. Walt and Igner were still throwing punches at each other.

Mom tried to go for the weapons locker, but she quickly found herself cornered by little Leela holding a laser pistol. By this time big Leela had managed to smash in enough of the roof to make her way into the large lab. Fry knew enough about the machine to punch a hole in the space fabric with it... a hole that lead back into Universe A.

"I think this belongs to you, Leela... " Amy tossed the huge diamond sapphire into the palm of Leela's hand. "You guys need to hurry - the hole won't last long without the diamond."

The two giants made their way in through the hole, and the hole quickly closed up. They found themselves in the Planet Express lounge surrounded by their astonished friends. Zoidberg was standing there with part of Amy's music collection. "What? Bender and I were just holding it for you until you got back," he said.

Everyone was glad to see them back, even Professor Farnsworth who quickly hid the cooler that he had stashed away for Leela's organs. He smiled as Leela dropped the diamond sapphire into his hand. Bender was so happy to see the girls that he gave Amy an uncharacteristic slap on the back. A muffled "Ouch!" suddenly was heard.

"Hey, Amy, I didn't hit you that hard... "

"I didn't say anything," said Amy with a confused look on her face.

He popped her again on the back with his metal hand, and again an "ouch" was heard. He reached into Amy's hood, and pulled out a miniature Larry; he dropped him onto the table.

"Don't anybody get near me!" Larry quickly assumed a combat stance and pulled out a tiny knife. He looked around the table at the giants, lunging threateningly with the weapon.

"Oh, brother," said Leela, as she picked up a pencil. She swiftly moved in behind him with the pencil and knocked him on his stomach. She picked up the tiny knife as it slid across the table.

"Crap," Amy said, "so that's what happened to Mom's other son. What are we going to do with him?"

"I can use him as a human bottle opener for my malt liquor," Bender said.

"I say we feed him to Nibbler," Leela added, casting an angry stare at the little man.

"I'm making repairs to the traveler machine, and the box will just send him back to the other Planet Express building," the Professor said. "He may be here for a few days... or weeks... "

Larry looked up and around with a panicked expression on his face. Thinking that he was trying to escape, Leela quickly pinned him back down to the table with the pencil.

"I have just the place for him," smiled Amy. She gently scooped Larry up in her hands and carried him from the room.

Larry had been through the whole dollhouse, and had not found one way out... the windows and doors were bolted shut. In a corner of the living room stood a couple of saltine crackers and a basketball-sized olive, so he definitely wouldn't starve. He sat in a chair and began to ponder his fate when he heard the sound of Amy's boots entering the room. He shuddered in fear because he knew what that meant. He suddenly heard the sound of A-ha playing "Take On Me" - it was so loud that the sound echoed off of the dollhouse and shook the walls.

"Ugh... ," Larry shouted as he pulled on his hair, "if I hear that song one more time, I'm going to scream!!"

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